By Daniel Bordage
Style: Imperial IPA
Pairing: A local soundtrack of what it would feel like to be attacked by Vlad the Impaler.
About the Beer: My first 5 out of 5 in a long time. I had it while camping and at 9%, it made my afternoon a bit wobbly around a campfire. It’s incredible! Doesn’t really feel like an IPA. It gets bad marks for style but for taste, you will not be disappointed! It has a score of 94 overall on Ratebeer.
Vlad the Impaler was the inspiration behind the beer. My playlist is Impaler-inspired as well.
Commercial Description: We had to translate the description as the Kruhnen only operate in French. So here it goes. This hoppy American style beer will do well widen the eyes. It is brewed with Transylvania’s secret spice that perfectly complements the flavors of citrus and the trio of American hops. This robust IPA will delight fans of raw hopping. They will discover a product that brings something never seen before in on the IPA market.
Fuck The Facts “Solitude”
Fuck the Facts are amazing… but here are true facts about Vlad… He was posthumously named the Impaler. He practiced impaling his enemies that he encountered in the forest. He was known as the Impaler Lord (Kazıklı Bey) by the Ottoman Empire.
Iron Golem “Liturgy of Death”
“Crucified and flayed alive,” bellows Iron Golem. Vlad was reported to roast children and feed them to their mothers.
He constantly organized small attacks and ambushes on the Turks. On one night called the Night Attack, He bludgeoned and killed over 23,000 Ottomans.
Leviathan is described in the bible as a large sea monster. Vlad was a forest monster. He made forests of impaled victims.
Accursed Spawn “Burned into Sterility“
Accursed Spawn just impaled me with their new video. Luke’s growl would most likely freak the hell out of Vlad. Imagine Vlad walking in on a show of Accursed Spawn. Psychological warfare at its best!
Loviatar “Apostate (Hymn of the Heretic)”
After Vlad’s father was killed, Vlad and his brother renounced their old religion and swore to protect and uphold the Christian faith.
Sleep is for the Dead “An End In Himself”
Vlad’s defeat started when the cost of war was too much to pay his mercenaries that he relied heavily upon.
World War 4 “Daemone”
Bram Stoker’s 1897’s novel Dracula was inspired by Vlad’s name (Vlad Drăculea) and historical reputation of cruelty.
Flying Fortress “Caskets”
A great way to finish the soundtrack… in 1914, two years after Bram Stoker’s death, a short story called Dracula’s Guest was published. The story ends in an old graveyard where there is a marble tomb with a large stake impaled in it. An Englishman came across a sleeping female vampire. She rises from the marble bier (Bier is a stand on which a casket is placed to be carried to the grave… and Bier is Beer… Yeah I know, mind blown), and summons a snowstorm and is struck by lightning to then return to her eternal prison.